This Is My Blood

Can I just emphasize the weirdness to me of the fact that alcohol consumption does *not* seem to be a major element of SitH? I’m so used to the concept of nipping off down to the pub for a pint of Guinness with other performers — not just in Minnesota, but as a touring performer, as well. I’ve always assumed it to be the universal language of entertainers everywhere. Hell, upon reflection, I’m hard put to think of a single professional opportunity that’s emerged over the past couple of years for me that *didn’t* come out over an Irish import of some kind.

Same with smoking, too — I’m used to stepping out front with a bunch of other artists to light up and shoot the shit. At every showcase so far, I’ve stepped out — and been the only one there. I’ve overheard multiple conversations to the effect of “Ha! Yeah, I have half a glass of wine and I’m done for!” Fuck. I have a half a bottle of whiskey and I’m just getting started.

For that matter, I haven’t performed without a shot of *something* in me for, well, a long damn time. Trust me, you don’t want to see the stammering, awkward wreck I become in front of an audience without it. Stage fright and writer’s block are terrible things, a unique combination of existential terror and sexual impotence. And right now, I’m part of a community that seems to be eager to run along home as soon as the job is done.

I dunno. Maybe it’s a Catholic thing. I’m not just *used* to the idea of combining alcohol and spirituality — it’s a part of my goddamn *religion*.